Aug 13

Aug 13 Island Discovery 8 / Campaign Diary: Archipelago Adventures - Pt. 42

We are back with another island! Suck it hiatus.

I’d like to be the first to welcome you to Kobold’s Egg, a fantastic island in the peculiar shape of an egg, over run with kobolds, and giant snapping turtles. This island brings the party’s to a difficult decision, side with the hilarious kobold or with the turtles and druid just trying to get by in life. My personal opinion is to side with the kobolds, but I’m also a bit bias towards kobolds.

Welcome to Kobold’s Egg!

This egg-shaped island provides a strange problem for characters. They must diplomacize with kobolds, truly there is no greater challenge that dealing with kobolds… at least, that’s what my players would tell you. See, I like my kobolds like I like my music - loud, somewhat incomprehensible, exotic time signatures, and experitmental sounds. I like prog metal. This translates to the kobolds in my own campaign as being… just a bit off the loopy side.

I have kobolds that worship an undead dragon that has no sentience, they treat it with reverence and respect… and it’s never done anything for them! It’s just a gaint skeleton! It just sits there! I have other kobolds that were so desparate to have a dragon-lord, that they made one out of wood and cloth and tried to trick outsiders into thinking it was a real dragon… they’d have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for some adventurers ruining their day. Kobolds are weird, at least, I always see them as weird. I tried to keep that weirdness in check just a teensy bit for this island, but my weirdness will still shine through no matter what I do. Hope you enjoy it.

Yup. That’s an egg-shaped island. I wouldn’t lie to you, I would never lie to my dear readers. Your likes are all that keeps me going during these troubling times.

Now, it’s egg-shaped for a very specific reason. There are cave drawings that appear to be ‘ancient’ that depict the two halves of this island closing and a dragon-god escaping it’s prison. The kobolds are attempting to free their dragon-god and to do so, they are using miles and miles of rope they made to try and PULL the island into a single landmass. Told you I like my kobolds weird.

Maybe they are making progress, maybe they are destined to never make progress but convince themselves that they are almost there. Who knows, that’s on you. I just provide the WTF scenarios. Oh, also there are some turtles that are nesting and need protection from the kobolds. Good luck on this one.

The Beginning & Arrival

So, the island has a problem. Kobolds want to unite the island into a single landmass and the turtles are causing problems. They are giant snapping turtles and keep cutting the lines between the two halves of the island, wandering about, and being a general nusiance. And then the kobolds are getting upset because they think the turtles are sabotaging them and that they are trying to stop their dragon-god from rising. Also, the tortle druid with the turtles doesn’t speak common or draconic, and so now the kobolds just assume that it is actually just a group of kobolds walking around in a turtle shell trying to sabotage them. Did I mention the kobolds have a king who likes to beat the other kobolds with a crudely carved wooden, dragon idol as some type of ‘religious service’. Yeah, the party has really stepped into some shit this time.

The party must come in and attempt to save the day. Maybe they side with the kobolds and get rid of the turtles, then again… maybe the turtles should be left alone and these half-crazed kobolds should get it through their head that they can’t simply summon a dragon-god based on some sketchy-at-best drawings in a cave. Also, they can’t just tie two landmasses together with some rope. Then again… maybe its easier to just kill 30+ giant snapping turtles than try to have an arguement with a kobold. Or perhaps your party can come up with a way for the kobolds and turtles to live in peace - regardless, I’m sure there is bound to be misunderstandings and shenanigans. So many shenanigans.

Island Background

When I first came up with this idea, it was just of kobolds trying to stop their island from splitting in half and using rope to try and keep half of a mountain from sliding into the ocean. But there wasn’t really a conflict to get the party invested in, sure, some tables might want to help the kobolds save their mountain, but you gotta give them something to do on the island. Which got me thinking, what is cutting all the ropes? The best answer is something new that the kobolds had never dealt with before. A migrating group of sea turtles is a great idea, and with Tomb of Annihiliation out, I had a great stat block I could use in this! Of course, if I were to publish this in an official manner, I’d have to make something unique for it, but that’s fine. I’ll cross that bridge in a few lifetimes after I finish the adventure.

In Closing

But that’s the extent of this island. It’s a simple island with a complicated choice. I’d imagine most tables might stick around here for a session or two, trying to get both sides to agree to a compromise. They might even come back after a few months to see if the kobolds have made progress, and maybe then the DM can describe something weird and fantastical… maybe there is a dragon there now… maybe, just maybe, the cave drawings weren’t completely bullshit.

Then again, maybe the table goes straight to murder. I don’t see too many going that route, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see that happen. When the weirdness of my kobolds meets my table, my players first reaction is to kill it. And then kill it again. And then cut off it’s head, bury it in 20 feet of concrete and then kill it again. Pretty sure they won’t let me put kobolds in my next campaign… but what they don’t know can’t hurt them until the final BBEG reveals himself to be three kobolds in a lich halloween costume. MUAHAHHAHAHA!

Kobold's Egg, #63 Island Information
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Even if you never plan on running an archipelago campaign, I think you can still find a use for this in your own games. If your players are ever on a ship for an extended period of time, I hope you get a chance to throw some kobold weirdness on them. They deserve it the jerks, always killing your monsters and never letting you do the same.

…grumble grumble grumble…