Apr 4

Apr 4 d100 Phrases for the Goons to Shout

Header Image: Open Grave: Secrets of the Undead (2009) by Wizards of the Coast / Amelia Stoner

If you are ever like me, sometimes your combats can be a bit quiet. Sure you say that Belac the Stronk runs forward and smashes their axe into Dormin the Despicable’s face, but your monsters and goons aren’t really talking. They silently fight for their lives against a group of seasoned adventurers, who pry don’t have much to say either. Both sides just quietly hacking away at each other until the murder-hobo party of dubious morals wins the day and moves onto the next encounter.

Well not anymore! Below is a d100 chart of so many things your goons can shout as they try to survive an encounter! In addition, some lines will even provide small boons to the goons (look at my rhyming), providing just a tiny bit of incentive for you Game Masters to throw out some killer one-liners that will be sure to make an impression on your table!

Who knows, your players may even leave a few more NPCs alive once they get to know them.

Party Killed a Foe | You killed <<name>>! They were my best mate! (gains advantage on attack rolls against that character for 1 round)
Party Killed a Foe | You didn’t have to kill them! They have a kid!
Party Killed a Foe | Looks like we get a larger share of your money!
Party Killed a Foe | You shouldn’t have done that. You’re dead now.
(has resistance to damage from the character for 1 round)
Party Killed a Foe | <<name>>! Are you OK?
(moves up to its speed toward the downed creature)
Party Killed a Foe | You better hope they don’t get back up!
Party Killed a Foe | We never liked them anyways.
Party Killed a Foe | Uh, boss? You sure we can win?
(has disadvantage on attack rolls for 1 round)
Party Killed a Foe | You think the cleric can fix that?
Party Killed a Foe | They have a mage! Get ‘em!
(one creature of its choice uses its reaction to move up to half its speed toward a spellcaster)
Fight Starts | You should’ve brought more friends!
Fight Starts | You better start digging your grave now!
Fight Starts | Get ready for the pain!
(treats all 1s on the weapon damage dice as 2s for 1 round)
Fight Starts | I hope you’re ready for Stabby!
(waves sword around threateningly)
Fight Starts | You made a mistake coming here.
Fight Starts | <<name>>, take their flank. <<name>> help me hold the front!
(allies of the creature gain advantage on their Initiative checks)
Fight Starts | You better hope your magic can save you from my axe!
Fight Starts | By the name of <<war god’s name>>, I challenge the strongest among you to single combat!
(gains a +2 bonus to attack rolls against the strongest character it is fighting)
Fight Starts | Make peace with your gods now!
Fight Starts | You aren’t going to live long enough to regret your mistakes!
Gets Hit | I’ve been stabbed! <<name>> give me your potion!
(an ally uses its reaction to pull out a potion of healing but doesn’t hand it over or use it yet)
Gets Hit | Ha! I didn’t even feel that!
Gets Hit | You hit like a kobold!
Gets Hit | You are going to regret that.
(gain temporary hit points equal to a quarter of that damage it took)
Gets Hit | That didn’t hurt!
(chokes back tears)
Gets Hit | You think you are strong enough to defeat me!?
Gets Hit | Next time try actually hurting me!
Gets Hit | Why don’t you hand me that sword and I’ll show you how to really swing it.
Gets Hit | <<name>>, how bad does it look?
Gets Hit | That really hurt! What’s wrong with you!?
(gains a +1 bonus to AC for 1 round from the creature that just hit it)
Boss is Defeated | We-we didn’t have a choice! We were forced to fight!
(attempts to surrender)
Boss is Defeated | Boss is down! RUN!
(all foes use their reaction to move up to half their speed away from any enemy characters, this movement doesn’t provoke reactions except from the character that had defeated the boss)
Boss is Defeated | The boss is down! Get that potion to them!
(a foe uses its reaction to move up to its speed toward the boss and pulls out a potion of healing)
Boss is Defeated | He-hey boss!? You OK?
Boss is Defeated | They’re too strong! We gotta surrender!
Boss is Defeated | To boss’ aid! We gotta save them!
(all foes can use their reaction to move up to half their speed toward the boss)
Boss is Defeated | Does this mean we are out of a job?
Boss is Defeated | Do you think we’ll still get paid for this?
Boss is Defeated | That was just a lucky hit, boss will get up any second… right boss?
Boss is Defeated | That does it! No more nice guy!
(deals extra damage equal to its proficiency bonus against the creature that defeated boss)
Party Member Goes Down | Giving up yet?
Party Member Goes Down | Oh, I think they’re about to cry!
(gains temporary hit points equal to the level of the character that was reduced to 0 hit points)
Party Member Goes Down | Don’t worry about them, you’re next!
Party Member Goes Down | They ain’t getting back up.
Party Member Goes Down | Hey boss! You see what I did?
(can reroll damage for 1 round, taking the highest amount)
Party Member Goes Down | You better give up or your friend is going to die.
(readies an action to attack downed party member)
Party Member Goes Down | I thought you were supposed to be tough.
Party Member Goes Down | They went down faster than a goblin.
Party Member Goes Down | You better tell them to stay down or I’ll cut their head off next.
Party Member Goes Down | Your cleric can’t fix that.
Foes Surrendering | Look, we were just messing around!
Foes Surrendering | Let’s call it a draw.
Foes Surrendering | You can have the gold and horses, just let me go!
(uses reaction to flee, this movement doesn’t provoke attacks of opportunity if it drops its weapons and all its gold)
Foes Surrendering | Please! Have mercy! My kids need me!
(drops prone and tosses weapon to the side)
Foes Surrendering | I didn’t want to fight - but I didn’t have a choice! I was starving!
Foes Surrendering | I only wanted to steal from the rich! Please let us go!
Foes Surrendering | I’m not with them! I was forced into it!
Foes Surrendering | I’ll tell you everything just let me go!
Foes Surrendering | You win! I give up! Just please let me go!
Foes Surrendering | It wasn’t supposed to go like this! I just wanted to feed my family!
A Spell Hits a Foe | MAGIC! RUN FOR IT!
(character uses its reaction to move up to its speed toward a place with half cover or greater)
A Spell Hits a Foe | That ain’t fair! Fight like a real man!
A Spell Hits a Foe | MAGE! KILL THE MAGE!
(all allies gain a bonus to damage equal to half its proficiency bonus)
A Spell Hits a Foe | That spell was weak! Try my magic!
A Spell Hits a Foe | Your fancy book ain’t going to save you here!
A Spell Hits a Foe | Save the caster’s eyes, we can sell those as charms!
A Spell Hits a Foe | I thought spells were supposed to hurt?
A Spell Hits a Foe | Oh, you’re going to wish you hadn’t done that mage.
A Spell Hits a Foe | By the gods, that was a <<spell name>>!
(uses a reaction to identify a spell and gains advantage on the saving throw)
A Spell Hits a Foe | Your magic won’t save you, mage.
Reinforcements Show Up | Oh you’re dead now!
Reinforcements Show Up | If you run now, you can escape with your pathetic life!
Reinforcements Show Up | You may have killed <<name>>, but you ain’t ready for <<name>>.
Reinforcements Show Up | Get the mage first! I’ll handle the swordsman!
Reinforcements Show Up | WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG! THEY ALREADY KILLED <<name>>!
(an ally that just showed up moves up to half its speed toward the enemy)
Reinforcements Show Up | You ready to give up yet?
Reinforcements Show Up | You surrender now or <<name>> over there is going to gut you like a pig.
(an ally of its choice gains advantage on its next attack roll)
Reinforcements Show Up | Looks like you outnumbered little swordling.
Reinforcements Show Up | Time for the real slaughter to begin!
Reinforcements Show Up | Any last prayers to the gods?
Fighting Cultists | Your sacrifice will be just one of many.
Fighting Cultists | You have yet to feel the full power of <<god/primordial/cult>>.
(its next spell deals an extra amount of damage equal to its CR)
Fighting Cultists | When <<god/primordial/cult>> arises, your blood will bathe its altar!
Fighting Cultists | Stop fighting against the inevitable! Join us!
Fighting Cultists | Why are you trying to stop us? We are making the world better!
Fighting Cultists | You can’t even dream of the power I wield!
Fighting Cultists | You don’t understand what you are doing! You’re the villains here!
Fighting Cultists | For the glory of <<god/primordial/cult>>!
Fighting Cultists | <<god/primordial/cult>> will reward me even in death!
(if reduced to 0 hit points, can use a reaction to make a melee strike against the attacker that reduced it to 0 hit points)
Fighting Cultists | You can not stop the inevitable, you can only throw your lives away uselessly!
General Talk | I used to be an adventurer too, had a magic arrow once.
General Talk | That armor looks good, will look better on me.
General Talk | What god should we put over your grave?
General Talk | I think you should know something… I am not left-handed!
(swaps which side their weapon is on, deals extra damage equal to proficiency bonus for the rest of the encounter)
General Talk | What are you hoping to gain fighting us?
General Talk | You should learn to use your weapon instead of just blindly swinging it.
General Talk | You adventurers are all the same, always trying to be goody-two-shoes!
General Talk | You interrupted my dinner!
(if it uses an action to eat food, gains the effects of a barbarian’s rage ability, use its CR to act as its level to determine rage effect)
General Talk | Look, we can pay you! Why not join our side?
(offers a gold purse containing a number of gold coins equal to the target’s proficiency bonus times ten)
General Talk | I’m sorry, but I am going to have to kill you.