A Player's Guide to Artifacts II
Additional Artifact Articles
A Player’s Guide to Artifacts I
Let’s pick up where we left off in our study of the Artifacts. As a refresher, I’ll use the grading system below and an overall letter grade A-F.
Excellent - This is the reason why you crave this item.
Good - A strong property that’s useful daily.
Meh - Positive that does little or negative that’s annoying but manageable.
Ugh - You still want the item but plan on it being an ongoing issue.
F*&k me - You may want to think twice about attuning to this item.
The first artifact up for discussion is the Crook of Rao, a shepherd's staff of immense power. Ok, it’s not a staff used to herd sheep, but it is an item your character will want.
Crook of Rao
Wondrous item, artifact (requires attunement)
Ages ago, the serene god Rao created a tool to shield his fledgling faithful against the evils of the Lower Planes. Yet, as eons passed, mortals developed their own methods of dealing with existential threats, and the crook was largely forgotten. In recent ages, though, the Crook of Rao was rediscovered and leveraged against the rising power of the Witch Queen Iggwilv (one of the names of the wizard Tasha). Although she was defeated, Iggwilv managed to damage the crook during the battle, infecting it with an insidious curse—and the potential for future victory. In the aftermath, the crook was again lost. Occasionally it reappears, but the famed artifact is not what it was. Whether or not the artifact’s bearers realize its full threat, few risk using the Crook of Rao—potentially for the final time.
There's not a lot of lore, but what's there is packed full of juicy information. As you've probably figured out by now, the Crook was created by the god Rao. The authors reference Iggwilv/Tasha, which makes sense since the artifact is introduced in Tasha's Cauldron of Everything. We even get a curse! We can't ask for much more than that, so let's get to it.
Random Properties. The Crook has two minor beneficial properties, one major beneficial property, and one minor detrimental property. As far as random properties go, this is about the best you can ask for - Excellent.
Spells. Does the Crook function as a wand, or is it a staff? Could it be a rod? Does it really make a difference? Regardless, you can cast the following spells from the Crook: aura of life (2 charges), aura of purity (2 charges), banishment (1 charge), beacon of hope (1 charge), mass cure wounds (3 charges). It 'only' has 6 charges, but when you can cast a 4th level banishment spell for a single charge, you shouldn't complain. The spell DC is a decent 18, and you regain 1d6 of those charges daily. They may not be the most powerful spells you can find on an artifact, but the fact they cost limited charges makes up the difference. - Good.
Absolute Banishment. If the Blood War ever spills over into the Material Plane, the Crook of Rao becomes the most crucial artifact in existence. With the Crook, you can banish every one of those fiends back to the Abyss, and they may not return for the next hundred years. Sounds great, right? There are a few stipulations, however. First, you must be attuned to the artifact and hold it in your hands. It seems easy enough, but that's not all. The friends must be within one mile of you. You’ll need the huge range because it takes ten minutes to use the banishment property. If you're already in combat, forget about using this property since one minute is an eternity, let alone ten minutes.
Finally, the banishment will fail if any devils, demons, or other fiends you plan on sending back to their home plane are over CR 20. Once you get to CR 20 fiends, you're talking demon lords and devil princes, so it's understandable they are immune. I'm confident they will be pissed to find all their minions have disappeared, so be ready. You'll need to plan accordingly to use this property. We tend to incorrectly poo-poo item properties and spells that cannot be used in the heat of battle. Don't, because a banishment property of this magnitude is no joke. You have no one to blame but yourself if you wait until nine minutes before the hoards of demons will arrive at your doorstep. - Excellent.
Failing Matrix. Things take a turn for the worse now. Get your dice ready if you use the Absolute Banishment property or expend all six charges from the Crook. You'll roll percentile dice on the Extraplanar Reversal table provided in the artifact's description. The possible things that can happen to you are as follows:
1-25 – A portal to a random plane opens. The portal closes after 5 minutes.
26-45 – 2d4 imps and 2d4 quasits appear.
46-60 – 1d8 succubi/incubi appear.
67-70 – 1d10 barbed devils and 1d10 vrocks appear.
71-80 – 1 arcanoloth, 1 night hag, and l rakshasa appear.
81-85 – 1 ice devil and 1 marilith appear.
86-90 – l Balor and l pit fiend appear. At the DM's discretion, a portal opens into the presence of an archdevil or demon lord instead, then closes after 5 minutes.
91-00 Iggwilv's Curse (see the Iggwilv's Curse property).
A random portal isn't evil unless the DM decides it is a portal to the Far Realm, and an aboleth happens to be wandering by. The creatures who come through the portal progressively worsen as you go down the list. Did I mention all creatures appear within 60 feet of you, and unlike when you use a summoning spell, they aren't under your control? Looking at the list, if your DM is cruel, pray you don't roll an 88 because, as I mentioned above, archdevils and demon lords always have a CR higher than 19. Is it still worth using the Absolute Banishment property? If you're fighting a hoard of demons from the depths of Hell, it most definitely is. Unless, of course, you roll between 91 and 00 - F*&k me.
Iggwilv's Curse. Remember the curse mentioned in the lore? Welp, it's worse than you imagined. Iggwilv (Tasha) was pissed when the Crook of Rao was last used against her and attacked it. The result was a potentially devastating curse. The Crook explodes if you activate the curse when rolling on the Failing Matrix table. On the positive side, there's no mention of you taking any damage. The downside is you've created a 50-foot-diameter portal with all the traits of a permanent gate spell.
Get away from the portal as quickly as possible, hopefully to another plane of existence, because you've doomed the Plane you are currently on. Every round following its creation, the portal will speak a fiend's name in the sweet voice of Tasha. This continues until the gate calls every fiend banished via the Absolute Banishment property. That's ALOT of demons since it takes an insane eighteen years to complete. Once those eighteen years have passed, the gate becomes a permanent portal to Pazunia, better known as the first layer of the Abyss. That way, all the other demons can come to visit.
There is literally nothing good about this. In fact, it may be the worst curse throughout every edition of D&D. It should give you pause when you think you need to use that last charge to cast a beacon of hope spell. - F*&k me to the 100th power.
Destroying (or Repairing) the Artifact. Head off to Mount Celestia, make the god Rao cry, and have a tear fall upon the Crook if you want to destroy it. The catch is the Crook must stay immersed in the god's tear for 366 days. On the flip side, if you wash the Crook in a tear for 30 days, it loses its Failing Matrix property. Either of these options is something you should explore before you take the chance of ending the world.
Overall Grade: C-. I'm torn grading this artifact. On the one hand, the Crook of Rao has some excellent spells, and if you're playing in a campaign featuring creatures from Hell, it's the best artifact you can have. On the other hand, the artifact can end any campaign when those same creatures overrun the world. In the end, a few good spells and a campaign-specific super property aren't worth the worst curse ever, no matter how slim the chance.
Demonomicon of Iggwilv
Wondrous item, artifact (requires attunement)
An expansive treatise documenting the Abyss's infinite layers and inhabitants, the Demonomicon of Iggwilv is the most thorough and blasphemous tome of demonology in the multiverse. The tome recounts both the oldest and most current profanities of the Abyss and demons. Demons have attempted to censor the text, and while sections have been ripped from the book's spine, the general chapters remain, ever revealing demonic secrets. And the book holds more than blasphemies. Caged behind lines of script roils a secret piece of the Abyss itself, which keeps the book up-to-date, no matter how many pages are removed, and it longs to be more than mere reference material.
The Demonomicon is another artifact from Tasha and her cauldron of everything. Like all artifacts, there are some downsides to the Demonomicon, but at least it won't end the world.
Random Properties. The Demonomicon has two minor beneficial properties, one minor detrimental property, and one major detrimental property. I guess it could be worse. - Ugh
Spells. The book has 8 charges and a good number of spells (save DC20): magic circle (1 charge), magic jar (3 charges), planar ally (3 charges), planar binding (2 charges), plane shift (3 charges), and summon fiend (3 charges). Plane shift only allows travel to the first three levels of Hell. As a bonus, you cast Tasha's hideous laughter without expending a charge. It regains 1d8 expended charges daily at dawn.
You can probably see the theme behind the spells; lots of devils, demons, ways to trap them, and ways to get to and from the Abyss. - Excellent
Abyssal Reference. Looking for the skinny on all things demon or where to go for a good burger in the Abyss? The Demonomicon allows you to double your proficiency bonus when making checks about demonic creatures and the places they live. It won't knock your socks off, but don't discount it. - Good
Fiendish Scourging. You automatically do maximum damage when you cast a spell against a fiend. The only downside is that you don't get to roll dice. - Excellent
Ensnarement. If you haven't figured it out yet, the Demonomcon is incredibly powerful against fiends, and this is another property that validates that statement. The book buffs the spell's power when you cast magic circle or planar binding against a fiend. They aren't going to be happy when they find out that both spells are cast at 9th level no matter the spell slot used, and even more upset when they make the save at disadvantage. Add one more check to the "Yes, please" column. - Excellent.
Containment. You'll find between the first six to ten pages blank when you open the book. This is because when you have a fiend trapped in a magic circle, you can trap it inside the book. Now the fiend in question does get to make a DC 20 Charisma save, but it's at disadvantage. The fiend becomes trapped inside one of the black pages when it fails. On the page will appear the fiend's name and depravities. Depending on the fiend and how horrid they've been, the text may be tiny to fit all that information. You can use this action once per long rest.
Here's where things get a little sticky. When you finish a long rest, a creature inside the book can try to possess you. The most powerful fiend trapped gets to go first. As long as you and the Demonomicon are on the same Plane of existence, the trapped creature of the highest challenge rating within the book can attempt to possess you, and there will be fiends trapped even if you haven't used this property. That's because when you find the Demonomicon, there already will be 1d4 worth of fiends trapped. Lucky you.
It's your turn to make a save. If you fail a DC 20 Charisma saving throw, consider yourself possessed. The fiend can let you go with a single action, but I'm sure it would prefer to control you like a puppet. I'm positive when I say that fiends of any sort don't appreciate being held captive inside a book. If you make the save, that creature can't try to possess you again for seven days. But the next highest fiend can, so keep those dice ready.
Trapping demons has now become a dangerous proposition. There's nothing you can do with the trapped creatures beyond containing them. If you could summon them from the pages to do your bidding, this property would be worth the risk. I'd suggest forgoing using this property. I'd try using planar ally to force the creature into service, walk away when it's trapped in the magic circle, or try and kill it. - Ugh
Destroying the Artifact. If you attempt the book, there's a great chance you'll die. First, six different demon lords must each tear out a sixth of the book's pages. Since the pages will reappear in 24 hours, you have that much time to open the now-empty book. Doing so transports you to a budding layer of the Abyss hidden within the text. It's a horribly dangerous place you don't want to be. In this semi-sentient domain lies the long-lost artifact, Fraz-Urb'luu's Staff. You'll have to take the staff off the Plane. By doing so, the book transforms into a harmless copy of the Tome of Zyx, the Demononicon's predecessor. The problem with taking the staff is the demon lord Fraz-Urb'luu instantly knows what you did. You can bet that it wants its staff back, most likely killing you to do so.
Don't attempt this. Unattune to the book. Please put it on the ground, and run away.
Overall Grade: B-. Messing with demons, devils, and their ilk is always risky. The benefits are great, but I recommend carefully using its containment feature. Also, remember you'll have to make a check every morning till you get the creatures previously trapped in the Demonomicon safely out of the pages.
Draakhorn
Wondrous item, artifact
The Draakhorn was a gift from Tiamat in the war between dragons and giants. It was once the horn of her ancient red dragon consort, Ephelomon, that she gave to dragonkind to help them in their war against the giants.
Those with knowledge of the Draakhorn's history know that it was first built to signal danger to chromatic dragons — a purpose the Cult of the Dragon has corrupted to call chromatic dragons to the Well of Dragons from across the North.
This artifact is incredibly underwhelming. The Draakhorn is a massive horn blasted with fire into a dark ebony hue and wrapped in bands of bronze with draconic runes that glow with purple eldritch fire. It requires two Medium creatures, or one Large or larger, to hold it. A third creature then blows into it, creating a low, moaning sound, which makes the earth resonate to its call. Essentially the Draakhorn serves as a warning signal to all dragons within two thousand miles of you. That's all it does.
Overall Grade: F. Unless your entire campaign revolves around using the creatures in Fizban's Treasury of Dragons, this is a useless artifact.
Eye and Hand of Vecna
Wondrous Item, Artifact
Seldom is the name of Vecna spoken except in a hushed voice. Vecna was, in his time, one of the mightiest of all wizards. Through dark magic and conquest, he forged a terrible empire. For all his power, Vecna couldn't escape his own mortality. He began to fear death and take steps to prevent his end from ever coming about.
Orcus, the demon prince of undeath, taught Vecna a ritual that would allow him to live on as a lich. Beyond death, he became the greatest of all liches. Even though his body gradually withered and decayed, Vecna continued to expand his evil dominion. So formidable and hideous was his temper that his subjects feared to speak his name. He was the Whispered One, the Master of the Spider Throne, the Undying King, and the Lord of the Rotted Tower.
Some say that Vecna's lieutenant Kas coveted the Spider Throne for himself, or that the sword his lord made for him seduced him into rebellion. Whatever the reason, Kas brought the Undying King's rule to an end in a terrible battle that left Vecna's tower a heap of ash. Of Vecna, all that remained were one hand and one eye, grisly artifacts that still seek to work the Whispered One's will in the world.
Arguably the most well-known of all the artifacts, the hand and eye of Vecna have way more lore behind them than what's above. If you're interested in all things Vecna, check out our Vecna Deep Dive. The artifacts can be found separately, and you'll need to attune to each one, albeit in different, horrible ways.
The eye looks like a bloodshot organ torn free from the socket. To attune to the eye, you must gouge out your eye and pop in Vecna's. Simple, right? The eye will attach itself to the eye socket, appearing as a golden cat's eye. The eye stays in place until you die, which will happen immediately if you remove it from your head.
The hand is a mummified and shriveled left extremity. To attune to the hand, cut off your left hand and jam Vecna's hand onto the stump. I'm sure that won't hurt at all. It will graft itself into place and function like a normal hand. Don't get the hand cut off in battle, or for that matter, in any other way. Remove results in instant death.
Random Properties. Each artifact has the following random properties: one minor beneficial property, one major beneficial property, and one minor detrimental property. That's pretty good, but I call having to remove a body part detrimental, even if it's replaced - Good.
Properties of the Eye. It's not surprising your alignment changes to neutral evil. Vecna wasn't the friendliest of creatures, and one has to expect some residual evil to linger in the eye. Here's what you get in return for your character breaking bad:
You have truesight. Being able to see in normal and magical darkness, see into the Ethereal Plane, see invisible creatures and objects, detect visual illusions and succeed on saving throws against them, and perceive the original form of a shapechanger or a creature that is transformed by magic is fantastic. - Excellent.
You can use an action to see as if you were wearing a ring of X-ray vision. This property allows you to see into and through solid matter for 1 minute within 30 feet. Hopefully, the walls you're attempting to look through aren't too thick. You can see through one foot of stone, one inch of common metal, or up to three feet of wood or dirt. Beyond those distances, your vision is blocked. You cannot see through any structure made of lead. The caveat to this property is when you use the property more than once per long rest. If you do, you must succeed on a DC 15 Constitution saving throw or gain one level of exhaustion. This ability works great on dungeon doors and in most buildings. Just be wary of using it too often.- Good.
Spells, and great spells at that. The eye has 8 charges, and you can use an action and the requisite charges to cast the following spells, with a DC 18 if needed: clairvoyance (2 charges), crown of madness (1 charge), disintegrate (4 charges), dominate monster (5 charges), or eyebite (4 charges). I'm not a huge fan of using four charges to cast eyebite, but I'm a huge fan of using those charges to disintegrate my foes. The eye regains 1d4 + 4 expended charges daily at dawn.
Now for the downside. Casting a spell means there is a 5 percent chance that Vecna will rip your soul from your body and consume it. The result is your character is now a Vecna-controlled NPC. If that happens, you become an NPC under the DM's control. At only 5%, I will be willing to risk it regularly. - Good.
Properties of the Hand. Once again, your alignment changes to neutral evil. You gain the following after you've gone to the dark side:
Your Strength score becomes 20 unless it is already 20 or higher. Great for spellcasters, but most melee characters will already have a Strength of at least twenty by this artifact's introduction. - Good.
Using the hand or a weapon held in Vecna's hand in a melee attack, whether a spell or weapon attack, adds 2d8 cold damage. The extra damage is always a good thing; two types of damage help against resistance and immunities. - Good.
What would the Hand of Vecna be without the ability to cast spells? The available spells are fantastic, but they come at a price. The hand has 8 charges, and you can cast one of the following spells (save DC 18) from it: finger of death (5 charges), sleep (1 charge), slow (2 charges), or teleport (3 charges). The hand regains 1d4 + 4 expended charges daily at dawn. Once you cast a spell, the hand will cast the suggestion spell on you. If you fail the save, the hand will whisper to you to commit an act of evil. Since you're already of evil alignment thanks to the hand, doing a despicable deed shouldn't be a problem unless the deed is to stab a fellow party member in the back. This property falls somewhere between Meh and Good.
Properties of the Eye and Hand. Benefits abound if you are lucky enough to find both the hand and the eye and have decided to attune to them. You'll be happy to know they don't come at a cost beyond cutting off your hand and gouging out an eye.
You are immune to disease and poison. Take that, paladins! - Good.
Using the eye's X-ray vision never causes you to suffer exhaustion. - Good.
You experience premonitions of danger and can't be surprised unless incapacitated. Being surprised doesn't happen often, but if it does, it's nice not to have your enemies get off a free round at your expense. - Good.
Regeneration is a beautiful thing. If you start your turn with at least 1 hit point, you regain 1d10 hit points. - Excellent.
I love this property. Touch a creature with the hand; if it has a skeleton, you turn it into a puddle of jelly. You can choose whether you use your melee bonus for weapons or spells, so you're not penalized regardless of class. If the creature fails its DC 18 Constitution spell, they drop to zero hit points and turn into goo. - Excellent.
You can cast the wish spell every 30 days. There's not much else to say except this property is… - Excellent.
Destroying the Artifacts - Both artifacts must be attached to a single creature. If that creature is cut down by someone wielding the Sword of Kas, they both burst into flame, turn to ash, and that's that. You may try other methods, and they may appear successful. You'd be wrong, though. The artifacts reappear in some random place in the multiverse, waiting for the next person to cut off a hand or remove an eye and embrace the evil within them.
Overall Grades
Eye of Vecna B+, Hand of Vecna C+, Eye & Hand A-
Becoming an evil alignment always throws off a party's mojo. I suggest working through it with the DM because if you can get your hands, no pun intended, on both artifacts, you can become a force beyond your wildest dreams.
Iggwilv's Cauldron
Wondrous Item, Artifact (requires attunement)
Iggwilv crafted this wondrous Cauldron with the help of her adoptive mother, the archfey Baba Yaga.
Boo, no lore provided. It's ridiculous, given the historical significance of Tasha (Iggwilv) and Baba Yaga.
Introduced in The Wild Beyond the Witchlight, the Cauldron has two forms: a gold Cauldron and an iron Cauldron. The gold Cauldron is solid gold, the outside embossed with bare trees, leaves, and broomsticks. In iron form, it's made of, surprise, solid iron! The outside is embossed with images of eight bats, toads, cats, lizards, and snakes. Regardless of its form, the Cauldron is approximately 3 feet in diameter with a 2-foot-wide mouth, complete with a lid with a molded handle at the top. Eight clawed feet keep the Cauldron off the ground and provide stability. It weighs 80 pounds when empty and can hold up to 100 gallons of liquid.
Attunement. We must talk about attuning to the item before getting to the goodies. When you've attuned to the Cauldron, make a DC 15 Constitution save. That's a decent DC, but there are infinite ways the dice gods can screw you. Failure and you instantly age to near-ancient status. Your speed is halved, you can't see or hear anything past 30 feet, and you have disadvantage on all ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws. Oh, one more thing. You will die within 24 days unless you have access to a wish spell or your god really likes you. - Ugh
Random Properties. The Cauldron, in any form, has the following properties: one minor beneficial property and one minor detrimental property. It's a wash. - Meh
The Cauldron has two different forms, each with its unique properties.
Gold Cauldron. The gold Cauldron has the following properties:
Pouring a gallon of water into the Cauldron and stirring it for a minute produces a yummy stew for four people. It's excellent cookware. The stew stays hot on the inside, but the outside is cool to the touch. - Good.
When all you have is wine, you can pour that into the Cauldron. It takes constant stirring for ten minutes and produces a magical elixir for four per gallon of wine. Drink the brew, and you gain 10 temporary hit points. Don't wait around either since the elixir disappears after an hour. This property is excellent if you have the time and wine before heading off to an imminent battle. - Good.
Ninety gallons of water and ten gallons of wine allow you to use the Cauldron as the focus for a scrying spell. The individual you're spying on always fails their save, and it makes no difference what Plane of existence you or your target are on. - Good.
If you have a broom and put water into the Cauldron, dip the broom's bristles into the liquid. The broom becomes a broom of flying for three days. Have fun traveling the skies at a decent clip (50 feet per round). - Excellent.
Iron Cauldron. The iron cauldron has the following properties:
Are you having a bad day? Do you need to purge the anger by yelling into the void? Instead, scream into the Cauldron. By doing so, you'll summon a swarm of bats under your control. Feel free to sic them of whoever pissed you off. - Good.
I'm not recommending killing a party member, but if you do, keep some of their blood. When you pour a gallon of blood into the Cauldron and stir for 1 minute, all creatures within 100 feet immediately fall unconscious, and the blood disappears. You can stroll away unharmed if you don't kick or punch anyone. Or you could stab them through the heart. - Good.
Ok, this one is weird, but it's worth it. Fill the Cauldron with water. Catch a frog or toad and kill it. Tie it to a branch and dip it into the Cauldron. Boom, you have a wand of polymorph with 3 charges. The wand remains intact until you use the last charge, at which time it turns to ash. You can only produce a wand every eight days. No matter, though; a wand of polymorph every eight days is a property that is… - Excellent.
If you have a minute, a unicorn horn, and know the words to the poem "The Witch Queen's Cauldron" (found in the sourcebook), all creatures within 1,000 feet of the Cauldron except those attuned to it become frozen in time. Think of it as casting the greatest time stop spell of all time. The affected creatures are incapacitated, can't move or speak, can't be moved by any force or spell, don't age, and is blissfully unaware of everything around them. The frozen creatures can't be harmed in any way, but how would they know if they were being hurt?
The problem with utilizing this property is ending it. To do so, you have the following options: destroy the Cauldron (we'll get into that below), send it to another plane of existence, or once again touch it with a unicorn's horn for 1 minute while reciting "The Witch Queen's Cauldron." You can also end the super duper time stop by having an antimagic field or unicorn's horn touch them. It works, but it will take an eternity if you're in the capital city. This property is not to be used lightly. Since only one person (or three hags) can be attuned to the Cauldron, you'll be screwing over your nearby friends, relatives, and party members. You won't be able to move them or wake them up if you lose your unicorn horn, so keep it close. - Excellent.
Destroying & Reconstructing the Artifact. You can destroy the Cauldron by whacking away with a flame tongue or a frost brand weapon. The Cauldron has an AC 19 and 80 hit points, but it's not like it can defend itself. Once it's reduced to 0 hit point, the Cauldron breaks into eight pieces, ending all magical effects caused by the Cauldron.
Please don't fret, though; you can put it back together. Gather up the pieces and put them in a 5 ft square. Cast a wish spell, and boom, the Cauldron is fixed! I must mention one last thing when it comes to destroying the artifact. Destroying the Iggwilv's Cauldron causes all hags in the multiverse to lose the Shared Spellcasting trait gained by being in a coven. Reconstructing the Cauldron restores the Shared Spellcasting trait of hag covens throughout the multiverse. Hags everywhere may hate or love you as much as a hag can love.
Overall Grade: B You need a decent amount of time to use most of these properties. Iggwilv's Cauldron is an artifact to be used outside of combat. Trying to stir for a minute in battle will usually end up with your party members angry at you or your death.
Lots of name-brand artifacts this week. Tasha, or if you prefer, Iggwilv, sure gets a great deal of love in the 5th edition. It will be hard to top the artifacts of Vecna, but we will soldier on. Next up, masks, orbs, and a massive robot you can use to crush your enemies.
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