Team Building (or How to Bond without Killing People)
Sitting around a table with a group of your friends and trying to work as a cohesive unit can be extremely challenging, let alone attempting to do so with people you barely know. Each individual has strengths and weaknesses, just like their character does. The question is how to apply them when playing a cooperative game so that everyone feels like they have an active role and can have fun. But having fun isn't enough in a game that can kill your beloved creation with the swing of a sword or casting of a fireball. You and your friends, whether they be old or new, need to work together to prevent this from happening. You need to become a team. Otherwise, there is a good chance you'll all end up as small piles of ash on the dungeon floor.
Building a strong team that works together is hard. Companies spend billions every year on training, seminars, and retreats trying to forge a bond that will increase the productivity of a group of employees. A party of characters also should strive for cohesiveness amongst themselves, in and out of the game. In-game, a strong cast of characters, working like a well-oiled machine can survive those deadly lower levels and become the champions they always wanted to be at higher levels. Outside the game, these bonds foster an environment that promotes fun and allows everyone to feel like they are contributing.
Too often, we rely on killing whatever creatures the DM throws our way to get to know each other. Sure, 5th edition skews towards more roleplay than combat, but it's those battles against hordes of kobolds that bring out a person's true nature and forces everyone to try and work together. Below are just a couple of examples of things in your campaign that can build stronger bonds between characters and players than killing a dragon ever could.
Love and Relationships
Ok, so let's start with Bards. They have no place in this discussion. The plan isn't to drone on about that the idea that everyone feels the need to play the bard as a complete sexual deviant whose sole purpose seems to be bedding every young lass, handsome man, or both. We are talking about relationships forged through the bonds of love. Love comes in many forms from paternal/maternal, romantic, the bond between siblings, lustful, and so forth. How they come to fruition and how they affect the party dynamic can be a boon or a complete fucking nightmare, depending on how the players go about doing it.
Sibling relationships are all the fashion in part due to Critical Role's Vex and Vax. The twins showed people how beautiful the love between a brother and sister could be, crafted by the gameplay of O'Brian and Bailey. They acted out the role exceptionally well, balancing the relationship between the two characters, but never overshadowing the rest of the party. There lies the challenge for players and DM's alike. Playing a brother and sister combo can be fun for the two players, but a DM needs to be sure that it doesn't lead to the party become split with the siblings on one side and the rest of the party on the other. They will side with each other most of the time, but siblings fight, so opportunities abound for a little rivalry to occur too.
Romantic love, whether between two characters or a character and an NPC, can cause a whole plethora of situations, and like everything else in life, can be good or bad.
(Before we dive into this any further, I'd be remiss if we did take a second to talk about how the players at the table handle these situations. The most important thing we as players can do before the start of any campaign is to discuss boundaries and express comfort levels. I've heard it a hundred times from a hundred different people about how important this is, and I couldn't agree more. I'm only going to touch on the subject in this context, but there are several areas that people should discuss, so no one gets hurt, offended, insulted, etc. Are people ok with characters being in a relationship in-game? How about platonic or sexual relationships? Same-sex relationships? Interspecies relationships? All these and more can come up in the game, and it's better to figure it out before the start rather than 10-15 sessions in. You may find out a table isn't for you, or you could be surprised how open people are about a subject you feel strongly about.)
We've had a lover's triangle, a secret love affair, two characters getting married, and a same-sex relationship throughout the campaigns I'm involved in. They ranged from small plot devices to primary campaign focus, but none of them caused any friction, and they added a little bit of fun for everyone during our downtime days. Everyone at our table is comfortable with relationships of any sort, so sometimes they happened out in the open, and other times we were surprised, but fine with, when the players announced what had been going on without anyone else having a clue. I consider myself very lucky to sit at such an open table, and romance has added a little spice to our games.
Finally, there is lust. I strongly recommend avoiding this concept between characters at the table. There is too much of a chance for this to be construed as real-life feelings for another player. That can lead to all sorts of complications inside and outside the game. Wanton lust between a character and an NPC, on the other hand, can lead to all kinds of mischief and hijinks if handled correctly. That said, there is no place for graphic details, as that is likely to make some players uncomfortable and possibly disgusted. Innuendo and puns can be funny if done correctly and within the bounds of people's comfort levels. Laughter, eye-rolls, and sad head shakes are all responses one can expect, but if a player tells you they don't like what's being said, stop and talk it out as a group. The game is supposed to be fun for everyone, and there are several ways to accomplish this without making someone feel uncomfortable.
Pets
I've talked about pets here. I do not want one, but our party's druid pet raccoon Dash is fantastic. I spend almost as much time interacting with him as I do the rest of the party. My character will do everything in his power not to let anything happen to Dash, including sacrificing himself to save the stupid raccoon. It, for sure, strengthened the relationship between myself and the druid, as we didn't hit it off in the beginning. I'm always feeding him treats on the sly when he's supposed to be on a diet. It's fun to roleplay, and the druid acts all mad, but she also knows how much I care for the little trash panda. It's a little bit of comic relief, and it helped our characters move past their initial hatred for one another.
Now in fairness, the reason I do not want one is that I had one, and it died within two sessions of getting it. Was I careful my pet worg named worg? No, not really. Did the DM have it out for poor worg since I had been complaining about pets earlier in the game? Probably. I know, deep down in the depths of my tiny black soul, that I acted foolishly and led to Worg to her death, but that is too painful to think about. So like all players, I blame the DM. Even in death, Worg provided a vehicle for us to bond over. The demise of Worg the worg has been the source of light-hearted ribbing from the other members of the party, turning her death into something that annoyed me into something that we can all laugh about. Except for the DM. When he brings it up, he's just being a dick, the murdering bastard that he is.
Joking.
Or am I?
Owning a Business
In real life, owning a business with friends is a horrible idea. Money, or a lack thereof, can ruin a friendship faster than a Xorn can eat gems. A countless number of friendships have ended this way, even though everyone says it won't happen to them. Owning and operating a business is hard work, and the chance that someone is going to get their feelings hurt is high. It could be that you are positive that you have a great idea that will make you wheelbarrows full of cash, but your partners reject it. Maybe they went out and spent an obscene amount of money to purchase new equipment without telling you. It can be any number of things, big or small, and they can ruin even the strongest of relationships.
In-game, owning a business is a whole different story. First, if the entrepreneurial venture the party embarked on fails miserably, it's not a matter of whether or not you can support your actual family. You may not get to buy that fancy magical sword your fighter has been eyeballing, but in the scheme of things, it's hardly a big deal. Even when things are sailing along smoothly at your fancy new tavern, there are plenty of hijinks that can ensue because you own it. A group of thugs could rob you on your way to make your daily deposits, a rival establishment could open across the street, or you could have to hire a big hobgoblin bouncer to stop all the bar fights. As in real life, the party will need to work together to solve these issues, and your relationships will be all the stronger because of it. At the very least, you'll know who you would and wouldn't want to open a neighborhood bar with.
These are just a few examples of how you can get to know your cohorts around the table and form what will hopefully be a long-lasting bond for not only your characters but for the players as well. Little did you know that operating a winery with your merry band of misfits would help when you decide that Strahd has to die once and for all.
If you like our articles, love Homebrew, and are looking for a fun and active community to talk about all things D&D, consider supporting us on Patreon. Below are some of the benefits we offer:
Access to our always growing Homebrew Horde
Vote on upcoming Deep Deep topics
Monthly online one-shot adventures
Early access to Deep Dive and Rewind Articles
Even more Homebrew in our Magic Item Monday and Monster Thursday series
More to come!
